


Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone

by blue_skyes



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 01:18:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18458501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_skyes/pseuds/blue_skyes
Summary: Ain't no sunshine when she's goneIt's not warm when she's awayAin't no sunshine when she's goneAnd she's always gone too longAnytime she goes away...Yasha leaving always brings the rain. Both in real life, and in Beau's heart.





	Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone

**Author's Note:**

> This song is based off of the song Ain't No Sunshine, obviously. I listened to this cover of it while writing this, and I recommend listening to it while reading! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJyjmZLZkF8 I hope you all enjoy it!

It was a clear night in Zadash, Beau stared out the window of her room at the Leaky Tap, looking at the stars in the sky, and sighing softly in relief to herself. Another night with no clouds meant another night with Yasha. She had been back almost a week, and Beau was determined to keep her close for as long as she could. It was a long process, Yasha’s heart at first still not fully healed from the loss of Zuala, but Beau was patient, and whether or not Yasha reciprocated the feelings, she was always going be there to help her friend.

Beau turned back to the room, and got into the bed she and Yasha shared, just in time for Yasha to step out of the bathroom. She smiled, taking in her girlfriend’s figure, looking her up and down. Yasha smirked as she caught Beau checking her out. “See something you like?” She chuckled softly, getting into bed with Beau.

“Oh absolutely. Lots of things really.” Beau smiled softly, wrapping her arms around Yasha. “Your striking eyes… your bright mind… your caring embrace…” Beau softly kissed each part of Yasha’s body as she mentioned them, showering her in adoration.

“You flatter me Beau.” Yasha blushed, her voice now dropping to a whisper. “Even after everything. You knew my past, the things I did, the pain I was in. And yet, you were patient. You waited for me to be ready. And you helped me through the worst of it. And for that I can be at the very least grateful for that.”

“You deserve it though. I knew from the moment I first saw you, that you were worth it all. I was willing to give anything to make you happy. And I’m glad you gave me that chance. I love you Yasha. And I’m always gonna be here for you.”

“Thank you Beau. I love you as well. With as much of me that I can.”

Beau nodded, holding Yasha closer and tighter as Yasha reciprocated Beau’s embrace. She understood that Yasha could never love her fully. That a part of her still belonged to Zuala. And Beau was okay with that. The fact that Yasha had any form of romantic feelings for her at all was more than enough. She smiled to herself, falling asleep in Yasha’s arms, the warmth shared between them enough to put them both to sleep.

Not more than a few hours had passed, when Beau awoke to a loud booming noise, and the building shaking. She jumped in bed, worried as to what was going on. Reaching over to find Yasha, there was no one next to her.  Beau sighed, rolling over, and jumping out of bed, only to find Yasha by the window, gathering her things. She jumped at the noise of Beau landing out of bed, and she looked at Beau sadly.

“I’m sorry Beau. I have to go. He’s calling me.”

“I know…” Beau nodded sadly. “Just… can’t he wait? We only just got you back…”

“I’m sorry Beau. I really am. I  promise I’ll be back to you as soon as I can.” Yasha picked up her pack of things and her sword as she said this, finishing off her sentence with a soft kiss to Beau’s lips.

Beau knew she couldn’t ask Yasha to stay, that was too much of her. So she decided to be as selfish as she could be, wrapping her arms around Yasha, grabbing her clothes with a desperate need, to keep her close, even if it was only for a few moments longer. They stayed there in that embrace as long as they could, holding each other tight, until a loud, thunderous boom broke them out of their bubble. Yasha was the first to pull away, a hint of reluctance in her motions. “I-I’ve got to go.” She motioned towards the door. “I love you and I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

“I love you too.” Beau’s voice was but a whisper now, one of the few moments she let her full vulnerability show. And with that, Yasha was gone, walking out of the room, and shutting the door behind her.

Beau waited, watching by the window to see Yasha leaving the Leaky Tap, making sure she really was gone before showing any emotion. When she was sure, Beau flopped onto the bed, and screamed into her pillow. Tears began streaming down onto her face, her face turning red and hot with her sadness. It might have been selfish of her, but it was also selfish of the Stormlord, Beau thought. He was calling Yasha more and more often now, and for longer periods each time. But she couldn’t ask Yasha to stay. She knew Yasha wouldn’t. So she just dealt with it. And she spent the night sleepless, thoughts of anger directed at the Stormlord, and thoughts of sadness at Yasha racing through her mind all night.

 

The following morning, Beau got up early, and went downstairs, looking for some food and some ale to drown her sorrows in. Lucky for her, none of her friends were up to stop her. Beau was trying to stop drinking as much, she knew it was a bad habit, but whenever Yasha was gone, she seemed to default to her old ways in order to cope with the hurt that came with her leaving every time. She caught the attention of the barman, ordering a plate of meats, and a big tankard of ale to accompany it. The food and ale arriving, she began quelling the hunger pangs in her stomach with the food, and filling the hole in her heart with the ale. It wasn’t long before she ordered another tankard, and was about halfway through it when Jester came happily bounding down the stairs, only to find Beau sitting there at a table alone, her face practically covered by the tankard. She looked over the table, and finding the other tankard there, and the half eaten food, she was worried for Beau. “Beau!” She exclaimed. “Are you okay? Where’s Yas-”

Before Jester could even finish, Beau cut her off, slamming the tankard down on the table and saying, “She’s gone. Again.”

“Already?” Jester sighed, scratching her head. “But she only just got back a few days ago!”

“I know. But the Stormlord needed her again, so off she went. I just wish she didn’t have to leave all the time.” Beau picked up the tankard, and began downing more of her ale.

Jester went and sat next to her friend, and pulled her into a tight embrace. “You shouldn’t be drinking that much Beau, it’s not good for you. And besides, I’m sure Yasha will be back soon. I know it.”

“She’s been staying away longer and longer though… what if one of these times she… she stays for good?” Beau said, a sob escaping her throat as her head fell into her hands.

“I don’t think so Beau. She cares about us. Especially you. She wouldn’t leave us for good. I know that for sure.” Jester began rubbing Beau’s back softly, hoping to relax the sobbing woman.

“I… I guess.”

After a while, Beau managed to calm down, and the others all joined the two women at the table, and after they were all fed, they set out on the next leg of their journey.

 

* * *

 

The entire while on this trip from Zadash to Alfield, them being called by Watchmaster Bryce to investigate some goings on, it did nothing but rain. It started by a light rain when they headed out on their journey, to a heavy almost downpour as they arrived in Alfield. It turned out that there were more gnolls in town causing trouble, and Bryce knew they were good for taking up the job, so they gladly went to help when they were called. But the entire while, while it rained, Beau could only think about Yasha. She managed to pull her own weight, and killed quite a few gnolls, but she also couldn’t say that it wasn’t her getting some of her anger towards the Stormlord out on them.

The journey back, it was somehow raining even harder. The roads were really muddy, and their cart was getting stuck more often, making the trip back longer. The entire time, not a sign or a word from Yasha. Just the rain. And the rain reminded Beau of Yasha, which made it impossible to think of anything else. She sat in a corner of the cart on her own, looking out on the rain, her thoughts on Yasha, hoping she was okay, and that she was coming back.  The others, while worried for Beau, knew not to bother her much when she was in this state. She needed the time to process her feelings, and they were allowing her her space.

 

* * *

 

The total trip to Alfield, plus the time spent there, and the time getting back, took about a total of two weeks. And still not a word from Yasha. Not even when Jester tried to use sending. The rain was still there, still pounding on the rooftops of Zadash. There was no sunshine when Yasha was gone, not in the sky, and not in Beau’s heart. Instead all that was left was a storm of emotions, fear that Yasha might never return, anger that the Stormlord took her only love away from her, and an empty, unfillable hole that always came whenever Yasha was away. The sleep that Beau got on the nights Yasha was gone, was restless. Sometimes, Beau thought it better to not even sleep at all, and she’d train instead. One night however, about a month after Yasha left, Beau got a restful sleep, the most restful she’d gotten in a long time. And when she woke up, while she didn’t notice it herself, the rain got a little lighter. She went downstairs, and had her usual breakfast, of meats and ale, and went back to her room to wash up before going out on the town.

There was a loud thunderous boom, as Beau washed her face, but she didn’t even think about getting her hopes up, as she had heard one too many of those while it had been raining all these weeks. She stepped out of the bathroom into the bedroom, towel wiping down her wet face, when she was blinded by a bright light coming from the window.

Rubbing her eyes, Beau saw none other than Yasha lying on her bed. “Yasha? Is that really you?” Beau’s eyes began welling up with tears at the sight of her love.

“It is. I’m back. I’m home.” Yasha smiled, standing from the bed and pulling Beau into a tight embrace.

“But…” Beau pulled away slightly from Yasha to look her in the eyes. “For how long this time?”

“For good.” Yasha grinned.

“But, what if the Stormlord calls you again?”

“I don’t follow him anymore.”

Beau was shocked at Yasha’s revelation. “W-What do you mean you don’t follow him anymore?”

“He asked me to do something that I just couldn’t do. He asked me to not come back, to do work for him that I… just couldn’t do. And I realized, that my feelings for you, and for all our other friends, was more important.”

“God I love you Yasha.” Beau grinned, and pulled Yasha into a deep kiss. The two of them stood, locked in that passionate embrace for as long as they could, before they pulled away, and Yasha smiled in return at Beau, the two of them taking in the other for a moment, before Beau tugged on Yasha’s hand, moving towards the door. ‘Come on Yash! I can’t wait to tell the others the good news!”

“Alright, calm down!” Yasha chuckled, the two of them walking out the door. The sun was shining inside Beau’s heart for good now, Yasha’s choice to stay filling Beau’s heart with love and happiness, as it should be.

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys made it this far, I do hope you enjoyed it! I worked real hard to whip this up, and I put a lot of feelings into this! I'd love to hear your thoughts in a comment as to what you thought, whether you liked it or not! I'm also always up for listening to some constructive criticism, so please do feel free to leave that if you so wish! I'm always looking to learn and grow as a writer! I also appreciate your kudos as well, as it shows me you enjoy my writing!! Again thank you so much for reading! I love you all!!


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